shooting stars and fishes

we sat by the fire

and waited for shooting stars
all summer long

you saw many I saw none

I never knew what you wished for

I wished for our friendship to never end
I wished for this summer to never end
but I didn't see a single shooting star

so I knew it could not be 

like I knew everything else in advance

and like everything else I did not admit this to myself

of course not, how could I have

when every shooting star before
I mean my whole life, every f*****g shooting star

had been greeted with 
a wish to meet a friend like you

I swam in the lake

and counted the fishes

eager to find a sign

to prove that we were meant

just like that

meant, as whatever, care did I not
every form would have been fine with me
the only thing I knew for sure was hooked to "forever"
seventeen fishes, none of them touched my belly
which was not a good sign
fishes should swim so close to touch you
if they wanted to come close to being a good sign

you sat by the shore

staring your darkness into the ground
until I saw, you had dug a tunnel to the other side

there was never a way

I could have avoided touching you
there was never a way
I could have followed you 

it was meant and it was over

before it began

so this is my last poem for you

because you can not be touched

before I was born I knew you

it was a bone thing

therefore wherever I go

something will trigger a memory of you

like we had spent a lifetime together

which we have, on a pair of cloudy chairs

in front of a glowing fire

black and blue the sky around us

filled with sparkling little lights

waiting to be our shooting stars

© Susanne Becker